I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
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