if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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