what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
We had to coat check the pizza.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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