i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Randomize
