I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
