You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
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