We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
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