I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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