She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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