"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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