His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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