Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
