one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
