You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
