ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
its liver damage thursday
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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