we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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