My room smells like vodka and shame
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
