So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
