I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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