I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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