hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
you win again, gameday.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Randomize
