this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
