I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Randomize
