do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I have aggressive nipples.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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