...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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