I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
