if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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