A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
