Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
