I hope mine doesn't look like that
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
