I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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