have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Found the puke drawer
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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