im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Randomize
