so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
