He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
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