Who did Billy Mays play for?
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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