I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
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