no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
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