After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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