all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
My liver is preforming stress tests.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
