Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
