I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
