I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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