Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
