I'm jealous of your bromance
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Randomize
