Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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