The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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