I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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