I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
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