You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
