Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Randomize
