Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
