You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
