i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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